did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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