in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
