You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
