It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
