He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drake has all the answers
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize