You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
