The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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