This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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