He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
