guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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