Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
