i don't like sucking hair
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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