I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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