I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Come see our sink grown plant.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
