I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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