I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize