I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
