who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
