Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
