don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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