i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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