you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
