she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize