idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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