its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
