considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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