I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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