if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
