i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
