I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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