I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
