i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
my god I love twenty year old dicks
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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