this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
