please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
