When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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