so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
