He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
