I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
