"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
