What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
