I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
