She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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