Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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