hotel room ftw
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
