why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's no shave November. This is our time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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