i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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