and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
