okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
