Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
