It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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