After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
