you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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