Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
