That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
